L E T T I N G G O . . .
Felings, ideas, people, and all of what makes up our belief system about ourselves and the people around us.
A belief I have constantly had about myself has always been about connecting my identity to the ability of moving. I have always been a hyperactive ADHD kid. Running around and doing stuff 24/7 is part of who I am.
S T A N D I N G S T I L L . . .
Huge deal breaker for me on any instance. I've always had a huge challenge for finding stillness both in my body and mind.
However, over a year ago I experienced an accident that left some bones broken and my belief of being a moving individual completely or even more broken than my bones.
This experience a brought upon a big detachment of myself and it broke me outside - in.
I thought, "if I'm not moving and doing stuff all the time then, Who am I?" It took a long wait, big deal of work, patience and time to get back on feet for recovery and eventually step back on my mat once again. I had a great time in the meantime. I did a Yoga Teacher Training and deepened my practice like never before. I moved countries and started going to a different school abroad.
Yet, as the good stubborn human that I am, it did not only take that experience to learn the real lesson behind all that was happening to me.
Few weeks ago I injured myself. Again. On the same area from the original break.
- "GOD DARN IT VANNIA! Are you always a troublemaker everywhere you go?"
- "Hmm... well..."
BIG PARENTHEIS :
Here's where my reality bending kicks in and instead of looking at myself as a troublemaker I choose to see myself as a spark and excitement-maker. (Haha, I might as well. Right?) Problems are better off seen as challenges and mistakes as lessons.
I saw myself - again - struggling to move and doing what makes my soul lift up the most. But this time instead of waiting for my wound to heal and counting every second for running back into my mat, I chose to enjoy the process of remaining still for a while and finding my own version of real and raw stillness.
I learned how to live every moment with the best attitude since bad and negative attitudes never took me anywhere far.
I learned how to let go of the expectations I had for myself and enjoy the process of remaining still with elegant patience and a heart-full of gratitude.
Namaste.
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