(These words were written when I was back home in Peru, confused and overwhelemed about the future. My next stop was Vancouver, yet little did I know about which step would be in the right direction once I got here).
As I look into the future, I am struck by the feeling of emptiness and pure uncertainty. My heart beats faster.
Is there anything I haven't learned about transitions yet? It is draining my energy. Why is it that way? Maybe instead of identifying this anxiety as a panic about the future, I should label it as anticipation or excitement about the future, John advised me.
I might be focusing too much on the negatives, the things I am lacking: the job, the security, the daily habits, the morning coffee, the friendships. The list can go on and on, but what if I focus on the things I already DO have? I am walking into a blank new canvas of possibilities, new future friendships and connections, a chance to make things different and more exciting- to look back and never think of myself as a coward for not trying, and that I am washed by the energy of bravery for this courageous act. Of opening my wings and taking off into the unknown. Jumping into the pool without knowing if there’s water in it. I saw a light at the end of the tunnel and had the audacity to reach for it.
The environment I am currently in [Lima, Peru] is feeling extremely draining and negative, which might explain why I have been immersed in a negative mindset. The good news is, I know deep down that these feelings of unrest, anxiety, and uncertainty are temporary. My world is expanding. However, the expansion will never land into tangible evidence until I give myself permission to crack myself open first. If a chick doesn't crack its egg open, how will it ever break out of its shell and enter its next phase of life? If the caterpillar's cocoon never breaks open, how will it become a butterfly? Expansion is the result of struggle, shift and change- end of the conversation. wh
Truly great things never came without getting our hands dirty first.
As things start to fall into place, the career path will unfold, the job will find its way to me, the friendships will sprout, the connections will blossom, and I will be taken my breath away by all new and exciting things ahead. As I grow, so does the universe, which is catching up with the newly evolved version of myself. Meanwhile, I trust. Because as long as all my thoughts and actions arise from a place of clarity, purity, and love, everything will return to me in all its equal and multiplied goodness.
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